Turning Point

Here is the beginning of my Nativity Nigeria (NN) posting on the forming of our church's new team for this summer. Already!

On Sunday, all who applied for the trip were interviewed by the NN leaders. I am so excited! It is nerve wracking at the same time too. If you feel the strong pull in your heart to go you just have to pray. It's about surrendering to God again. Like the recent homily on faith, we have to step aside when we feel anxious and just pray with thanksgiving in our hearts for what He has already given us. Yesterday's homily was on courage. A friend who is interested in NN said to me, "How did you have the courage to go last year?" I answered that I really didn't have courage. It was Him. He pulled me to go, carried me while I was there and held me upon my return. I guess this is what Fr. White is trying to teach us. We must not think or act on our fears. We must turn it over to Him. He gives us courage.

I feel so blessed just to have the opportunity to apply again. I've gone through a lot of life changes after returning from Nigeria last summer. I know changes are scary (again courage!?). But I know now that changes, even though hard, are good when God inspired. How do we know God inspired? Well, I'm working on discernment. But for me - He doesn't leave me alone when He's calling me. It's a deep down feeling and it is a peaceful and joyful feeling when I surrender to Him. No one has perfect discernment. No one is perfect but God. We are all works in progress.

I have a strong pull for global compassion. It is where I am called. I also have a strong pull toward women and children - the world's vulnerable population. The Bible mentions many times about "widows and orphans". I feel this is true of Africa which has a lot to do with the AIDS disease. Women and children are left alone to suffer when the men die of the disease.

Whomever would have thought this to be me? A woman of my age with two younger children? Not I ! My fear voice has told me no. It has been trying to tell me that I'm too old - too ungifted - basically not worthy. My trip to Faith Alive helped me with discernment on this as well as the spiritual warfare series our church just finished. This fear voice of unworthiness is never about Jesus Christ.

The message series we just finished on Victory/Courage was awesome! Tom, thank you for the book recommendation in the small group DVD. For any of you who do not know, it talks about how women and children resort to prostitution in third world countries. I saw this in Africa with my own eyes. It is done out of desperation and starvation. On one of our home care visits, the young girl we came to help was already gone. she contracted the AIDS virus from prostitution. Her parents forced her into this to come up with money for food. When Faith Alive tried to help this young girl and gave the parents money to get her to a hospital, they chose to take the money and use it to buy their own food. They put their daughter in the open village and left her to die. Their thinking was she would never get better; she would never survive. They were starving.

I also read a daily devotional by Rick Warren, the author of "The Purpose Driven Life". This is the book that our church read together three years ago. It just happened to be sent to me right after my NN postings ended for the last series. It was the devotional for 4/18, if anyone would like to read it in its entirety. I would like to share a part of it with you:

"There is no substitute for hands-on, real life experience in another culture. Quit studying and discussing your mission and just do it! I dare you to dive in the deep end. It will enlarge your heart, expand your vision, stretch your faith, deepen your compassion and fill you with a kind of joy you've never experienced. It could be the turning point of your life."

Teresa Pompa